| oh, summer. oh summer. oh summer! |
[26 May 2009|07:38pm] |
I live the life of royalty. I drink wine & play chess & talk about philosophy & I make beautiful, amazing love after it is all done. I do not have a single complaint except that I don't have enough money to pay my bills all the time, but fuck it.
I am leaving in five days to go on a roadtrip with two of my best friends. We will take a quick trip to Baton Rouge, leave the next morning to drive to Memphis. We will be staying in a beautiful place called the Pilgrim House. I will wander the streets where so much of my heart was formed. Beale Street, Sun Studios, & STAX RECORDS. I pretty much listen to Otis Redding all day anyhow, but particularly today, I have not stopped singing "Love Man." My skin is crawling to get out & be in a city with so many lonesome, soulful people. Next, we will be going to Nashville where I will stay with wonderful music makers. After Nashville, we're going to Chicago & hopefully seeing the beautiful Kate. From Chicago, we'll drive to the twin cities, where I will see a great friend before she leaves for Spain & then I will make the dusty roads over to Bemidji. This is where my heart will be at rest for the rest of the summer.
I am so excited, I can barely contain myself.
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| i want to go to there. |
[10 Feb 2009|12:16pm] |
JUST SAYING THAT MY PRODUCTION OF THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES IS GOING TO BE AMAZING & EVERYONE SHOULD COME.
sigh. i am so fucking happy with my life that i could scream for ten years. but seriously after the play, i think i may sleep for a couple decades.
on the flip side, why are things that are soo bad for you soo enticing? jesus, i hate fulfilling gender stereotypes.
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[28 Oct 2008|01:04pm] |
i realized that i only write in here when i am sad.
01. i am in love. i have been in love with the same man for three years (tomorrow) with some troubles down the road. honestly, this time around, i couldn't have written it more perfectly.
02. my ladies' social club (c.u.n.t.s.) is starting to take off.
03. we're producing the vagina monologues in February at uh.
04. i am working on a femi-zine (if you have anything to contribute, please do!)
05. i am learning a lot in school.
06. my friends are all happy.
07. i am happy.
08. ELECTION DAY IS LOOKING PRETTY GOOD.
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| he want that-a-way. |
[21 Aug 2008|12:43am] |
i don't feel rejected, but after one left, i've spent the rest of my night lying in bed watching old jenny lewis videos. i think this means im sad.
oh god.
what is wrong with me?
by the way: the video for "its a hit" is amazing.
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| just saying... |
[05 Jun 2008|04:32pm] |
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pleasure is a harlot that leaves hickies all over your neck.
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| vampirella. |
[11 May 2008|10:44pm] |
since wednesday, i have been really happy. now, i am just really tired.
my friends are very wonderful.
louisiana will always fill my heart so full.
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| when you're sleeping with someone who doesn't get you, you're going to hate yoursellf in the morning |
[29 Apr 2008|12:48pm] |
I want everyone to ask themselves the question,
Is this where I want to be? Is this the life I want to be leading?
because I ask myself that question daily & it keeps me in check.
I will save the world one day, skeptics beware.
[this means that I am taking kickass classes next semester, that I will be getting a job at the labour union, and will be living in D.C. this summer. cross fingers.]
BUT I DO NOTTTT WANT TO TAKE THIS MATH TEST, HOWEVER.
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[05 Apr 2008|10:18pm] |
i feel happy. i am traveling, learning. i am a gardener, a poison girl bar fly, a vandal. this means that i plant herbs, drink too much lone star, and super glue hot pink army men to institutions i dislike (gas stations, halliburton, lakewood church, american apparrel, starbucks). i went to mexico city two weeks ago & i think i left most of my heart there. i am going to arizona/cali this summer & i feel as if i may not come back. i will camp for weeks & that's the life that needs me right now. i am restless tonight, because i am alone in suburbia making sure two little ones don't set the house on fire. i was successful, but now they're asleep & television is horrible & i am feeling unproductive.
this is all. i get released soon, which means poison girl is calling...
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| honey pirates, i think. |
[28 Sep 2007|12:32pm] |
there is so much going on & i feel that i want to express it all so much that i wouldn't even have time to say it all, really. i am listening to a "gift" & his voice makes me smile. but not a smile that is fake or just on the outside, a smile that comes from my heart & is just shown on my face. i don't even have anyone to show this smile to, i just am smiling because my heart is telling my face to.
i saw a fox. i know that may not mean anything to anyone else, but to us it means the world. i need to stand up to myself & quit being so afraid of the truth & just shout it. [i've learned that from my bestie & i respect her so much for it.] i just want to shake him & tell him all the ways in which i feel for him, but i keep thinking that if i do that, i'll ruin the whole thing. i feel it's so precious & delicate. the most precious & delicate thing i have ever been a part of. but you know me, i am clumsy, i break things. "a bull in a china closet" as my grandmother used to say. but he doesn't see that. he sees someone very graceful, someone who "will be young forever." i think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. i keep refering to the notecard that has all the song titles & every song has a symbol drawn by him in pencil. again, my heart smiles.
my friends, they inspire me. they make me realize that i have let myself be in such a lull with my last relationship, but now i can truly be alive. i can lay on beds & listen to poetry being read & start to overflow with ideas. i can even express those said ideas & be uplifted for them! i am happy to finally be home & i am glad i didn't come back any sooner.
i am going to visit the other part of my heart soon & i am so anxious to have all of my most favorite people at the same place, at the same time, & mine all mine.
goodday, loves. xo.
ps: i officially live in br again.
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| yeah, i was smoking in bed. |
[23 Aug 2007|10:25pm] |
i am happy today! i am happy most everyday, but today, my voice is almost gone because of yelling over hannah montana/ h.s. musical ost. oh, how i love my job!
today was the talent show & there was a "skit" done about the teachers.
apparently, i just walk around saying, "love everyoneeeee, express yourself, do art!" oh, the truth.
after school, i bought the new rilo, rocket summer [shuttup], & a keyboard [the piano kind]. oh what fun our house is!
you've got so much love in youuu.
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| not where i want to be. |
[10 Aug 2007|01:04pm] |
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Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why do i always act suprised? my mother is a manipulative cunt. there, i said it.
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| yeah there's a method to my madness, but only if i can find it, i could make you safe. |
[27 May 2007|07:45pm] |
echoed hello.
i haven't talked to you in a while, dear friend.
update of sorts: job search went horrible & landed in the best outcome. i am now an art teacher at a private school of sorts. i come home with finger paint finger nails & new friendship bracelets everyday because my kids love me. to further our horrid luck, i got into a terrible wreck on friday & completely totaled my car & made me realize how easy it is to die! but on saturday, i got a new car [yeah, that fast] & i lovelovelove it. i don't so much lovelovelove the car notes, but hey! growing up is tough, yeah? today i spent a day at the river with some of my favorite people [& dogs] & i am just enjoying life, which is what you should be doing.
bruises hurt, by the way.
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| etc. none. |
[16 Apr 2007|05:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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dylan's snoring. |
] |
roughly two years ago i made an entry that said,
"remember me this way."
& i meant it.
i don't want to be remebered this way. at least not today's way.
sometimes i just want to run away from it all,
but i know it'll never be the same...
i miss an imaginary place.
stella doesn't understand why i am so upset & i don't really know
if i know either.
recycled; nostolgia; "take me anywhere," she screams.
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[09 Apr 2007|11:57pm] |
i feel very, very unwanted in so many levels of my life.
screamcrychokehelpno?!?!
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[06 Apr 2007|08:24pm] |
good god almighty, that pleases me.
i don't think i have more fun with any one person than i do with my boyfriend. today, we rolled the windows down & listened to my mix cd called "my vagina hurts" & cody sang so on key that the waves of his voice were uniform [or something?] with the waves of the music.
last night was lisa's birthday party at the apartment & it was really great. matt & i had an arts & crafts night the night before & so i painted on construction party & made party decorations. my house was everso festive.
i am trying to get over the fear of inviting new people over to my apartment without having a stress level of my mother. last night went off so well & i actually made four new friends. two of which were girls! i am really trying to make new girlfriends because i am need someone to just... go to the grocery store with when i do not feel like being alone.
i don't really know why i am writing all of this here...
i guess really because i wanted to write the first line. because my love for nina simone & cat power is just overtaking my life. i think i am going to start wearing pill box hats & only smoking out of a holder.
blues 4ever.
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[13 Mar 2007|01:09am] |
first, i hate it when people take things that you've been semi-obsessing over [because they're amazing] & make you feel lame because they thought it was "cheesy."
secondly, i told my boss to fuck off tonight & got sent home early. i suppose that's what you get for fucking thirteen year olds & being a fucking sleaze. ugh, men.
thirdly, i think i may have gotten the most amazing [& balla] new job today working with lalalisa!
today was great. i should tell people to fuck off more often. man, i have to think of a really amazing way to quit my job, though. help?!
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[05 Mar 2007|10:29am] |
i am changing my major to philosophy.
i want to teach philosophy
because it's mostly all i talk about.
a librarian, a philosophy major, & a poli sci major.
god, yes, we're some of those.
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[25 Feb 2007|03:48pm] |
Obama's rally was easily one of the most amazing things that I have ever been to.
His speech was amazing & the crowd was... over 20,000 people.
So, uh, if you want to know anything about Obama, look at www.barackobama.com
or ask me. but either way, vote for him.
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| sheila, sheila take a bow. |
[19 Feb 2007|10:51am] |
I GET TO SEE BARACK O'BAMA THIS WEEKEND WITH MY LOVERS & MY BABY STELLA. MY LIFE IS WONDERFUL & I AM RICH & I AM A GOOD MOMMA & EVERYONE SHOULD BE AS HAPPY AS WE ARE.
plus, yesterday, i got louder than bombs on vinyl.
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| KAYLA COME HOME & LOVE ME & MY PETZ [AMANDA INCLUDED] |
[17 Feb 2007|03:51pm] |
so these past two days have been amazing.
our family is complete! we have amanda, james, phillip, jenny, cody, andrew, & our two new additions! plato [my goldfish] & stella sue [my beagle/boxer].
plato lives in his tank, the republic, & stella likes behind the couch!
i am a happy, happy girl & i love my family!
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